LISTEN

Listen ~

When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice, you have not done what I asked of you.

When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way, you are disregarding my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you are not listening, you are taking control.

Can you please just listen? All that I asked was that you listen, not talk or do --- just hear me.

When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and inadequacy, and feeling helpless.

But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I quit trying to convince you and get about the business of understanding what’s behind the irrational feeling. 

Just talking can help me figure it out.

When that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice, maybe just support.

Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what’s behind them.

So, please listen and just hear me . . .

And, if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn --- and I’ll listen to you.


(author unknown)