12.31.2011

New Years...really?

New Year's Eve Day. Hmm what to do. I can organize my life some more. I can waste it sitting here trying to figure out what to do. I could do mindless things or mindful things. What would be more satisfying? I know the end of 2011 has been different than the beginning of 2011. So the beginning of 2012 will be different than the end of 2012. Ha! Self entertainment! I do know this to be true though. My best thoughts are in my sleep it seems and it's hard to write with your eyes shut and in the dark. So my plans are not your plans and my thoughts aren't yours. I will just take this breathing consuming and living being day by day and do my best to make the most of my moments you have given me. My life is not totally mine now. Different than it was before. All about me. Now it's more about others. Not that I didn't think of others. But it was more self than other oriented.

Something I learned yesterday when I was reading in the book of Luke. After reading the 7th chapter I like to read the Matthew Henry Commentary. The word Indefatigable showed up in there and I never had heard this word. So I looked it up. The writer said Jesus was never indefatigable in his ministry. Meaning he never got fatigued. He never got tired of doing God's will. Of whom was His father. I thought about this and it seemed to tie in with a conversation I had with a friend from the House of Prayer. We were talking and she shared that if we do don't do too much or don't do too little then we won't have that unsettling inside that shows us we aren't in the right place. So doing what we are suppose to do. Not trying to do way above what we are capable of or as many say, spreading ourselves thin. I can relate to this as in my life I was at that place recently. There was not the grace or peace to accomplish what I must do on a daily basis. My priorities which I have an obligation to. Now these are not drudgery either. But they are necessary for me to have an abundant life inside myself. Not drained and spent and on the edge often. As I look back I see how I get sidetracked. I want to be a more focused person. Whether that is making the call to the friend. Getting the item on my list done so I don't see it day after day reminding me how I'm ignoring it. The list or thoughts are endless. I don't know how you handle these sorts of things. But my life has open spaces of time and I want to use them for the best purpose. That includes sometimes doing nothing.

One more thought for the moment. I wonder who thinks of me on New Year's Eve? Who are the important people in my life (your life) we need to tell that they are thought of by us.

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