You all know I'm in a valley and there are many parts to the walk of grief. As I sit here feeling a bit wracked with pain by this special day...I cannot fathom how I came to this place. This is a journey I never thought I'd be on. It is a first and first's of this kind are always hard. Well today is day 74. Not many days have passed, yet they seem to fly, all at the same time. It's so unfair feeling sometimes. We were never promised a fair life now were we? How can time pass when my world got shattered? Yet it goes by at lightening speed some days.
I read and hear about all the tragedies going on around the world. Around this little life I have been given. I am shaken. God said He would shake everything that can be shaken.
"I will shake all nations, and what is desired by all nations will come, and I will fill this house with glory,' says the LORD Almighty" Haggai 2:7
That house is us, people.
also... “At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Yet once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” This phrase, “Yet once more,” indicates THE REMOVAL OF THINGS THAT ARE SHAKEN—THAT IS, THINGS THAT HAVE BEEN MADE—IN ORDER THAT THE THINGS THAT CANNOT BE SHAKEN MAY REMAIN. Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire.” (Hebrews 12:26-29)
We are flawed. Beautifully flawed. Wonderful are Your works. I am wonderfully and fearfully made. I just can't comprehend it. Yet I want to. I am blessed. I am scarred. I am a wounded worshiper. I will never cease to praise Him. God give me grace, give me grace. Because I am just a seed. Not yet a tree. Will you keep loving me? Keep growing me? These lines are from a song I like.
I love to read about missions. As I read these blogs I think of the sacrifice these people are making from comfort, familiarity away from friends and family. I am awed and ask God to show me how to do my part. Here is one I love to read, well two:
Ironically they are both about death. Seems to be the subject i think a lot of these days.
So many are suffering.
A 29 year old girl losing her mother and then father in a senseless act of murder in Philpsburg
A terrorism bombing after a marathon for a good cause in Boston
A shooting(s) on a college campus (many in fact)
A young man killing himself (A well known pastor's son)
Another young man killed himself (a friend of mine's friend's son just one day ago!)
A chemical plant in Texas exploding and flattening four blocks of land!
Some dear friends who have lost their children recently. New friends I have met online.
I saw an old friend last night as I ventured into the bright and scary world of Walmart. Thank God Paul was by my side. This man who I saw was so compassionate it almost knocked me over. I met his 13 year old too. A positive encounter was what I longed for but was not looking for. Public scenes are hard right now.
Life is so fragile, beautiful, and pain filled. Embrace it. We only have today. We're not promised tomorrow. When this old friend saw me from afar at Walmart and Paul and I were standing there I saw this deep compassion and love well up in his eyes when he saw me. I cannot tell you how that spoke to me.
With all His love which is all I have
With all His love which is all I have
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