This Saturday is Ang's birthday.
Long story but my Sarah is out of town with her boyfriend till Sunday. Previous plans she had (involving reservations and money spent all planned in December) that were supposed to include ANG.
She was afraid to tell me. She was hesitant to go. I just told her although it was very hard , she needs to do what is best for her. I want her to be okay. She does not hardly get any sleep. It's a 7 hour drive. She has this thing with driving and it is therapy to her. Not me! Thankfully she arrived safe and has been texting me. I was terrified to let her go but had to not let that all show.
Anyway I am here with Sprocket her little dog. Thank God I have him. He is so comforting.
The last few days were excruciating. It seems the pain builds up in a cycle and then I burst. I feel like I'm in some nightmarish emotional labor. After the build up, the huge wailing and crying and talking to God and Ang , everything subsides and I feel strangely calm and subdued for a short time. Then it starts all over again. It is so exhausting. I feel like I'm in a time capsule and the day repeats itself over and over.
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