Honor

I was given a phone number awhile ago, the first week or so after losing my Angela and I tucked it into my notebook. I just could not make calls easily. I still can't. I force myself to some times. 

This dear person asked to meet me over a month ago after I got the courage to call her. I am so glad I did. Yet I wish the circumstances had never happened for the reason through which we met. Keep reading and I'll explain. This woman who's number I was given and her family suffered an unimaginable tragedy in 2007. 

She did not know me from ever before. Someone gave me her number the first week after I lost Angela. I was scared to call. I don't really like phones much. She invited me to coffee.  We met. We had coffee at this little waffle shop. That was around a month ago now, I think. I found so much comfort in her presence. There was not much said. We drank some coffee and talked, but not much. Sitting there was comfort. Less words said a lot actually.

I saw her the second time at a grief support group.

Well today I left my home. I went to a very important event of this dear new friend. Today was (4/16) the memorial run/walk for her son and all the students who lost their lives at the murder at Virginia Tech University.

She had told me PSU has a 5k every year in memory of her son (and all the 32) who were murdered at the Virginia Tech University on April 16, 2007. I tucked that into my head. I thought it is coming closer every day. When I woke up today I decided, I am going. 

After showering and readying myself. A real accomplishment these last few months. I drove onto campus astonished that I was doing this and looked and looked to find the parking lot. Found it!.... and sat there in my car feeling so overwhelmed at the thought of meeting all these people.  I could see the stand across the field and the canopy and just felt this nervousness in my chest. I knew her family was big and there would be relatives and her grown children there, who are now all off on their own now.

I felt a reverence over the event. Almost a holy respect. I stayed off to the side just observing as every one went off on the 5k run/walk. Most were running. As I stood there I asked a few people where this lady (my friend) might be, she was to be back shortly. I got to meet her husband. I cannot begin to express how much it touched my heart to listen to this man share. He openly shared about his loss, things he has experienced, and felt,  once he knew who I was and his wife had previously shared with him about meeting me and about my daughter. It was an instant connection like I had had with her when I met her! Warmth and understanding filled my heart as we talked. I mostly listened to him. I reveled in his words.  Later she walked up  and we embraced. Well just to sum this up, I went home feeling less alone in the world. The dear man really shared from his soul with me. He told me he could see sadness in my eyes before he was even introduced to me as he walked up through the grass....while I was talking to his wife's sister in law. 

My heart hurts for these people. Their one daughter (They have several children) was at the Boston Marathon the very day her brother was shot in VA. in 2007. Horrifying! Especially considering the terrorism bombings from yesterday in the same location. 

They had a beautiful candle vigil at the end. My friend asked me to read one of the cards. I said yes. I felt love. Like they took me under their wing and this was not about me obviously but I felt a part. All parents seem to have that instant understanding, who have lost a child. For the most part.

They had a moment of silence for the families and students of VA Tech and the Boston bombing yesterday and the Sandy Hook shootings. All the proceeds are going to Sandy Hook families. 

I was and am honored to have been there for and with this family. I stood there with my candle and thought of what her son must have been like. He was 27. He was a runner. A son and a friend. From all I have heard a wonderful loving young man. Their loss is an ache they feel every single day. Looking into their eyes I saw understanding and I cannot tell you how much it touched me tonight.

I am honored to have been there.